The OWN network has some really good reality TV shows. I happened their latest series, Love Goals, and was immediately hooked. The show features five celebrity couples and a licensed therapist who, for two weeks, attempts to get them to reach their love goal. The goal for each couple differs, and in an effort not to provide spoilers, I’ll give an overview of each goal as well as the lesson I learned from each couple.
Althea Heart and Benzino
If you follow Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, you’re familiar with this couple. Their romance blossomed on that reality show, but they starred on Love Goals as two single parents trying to co-parent respectfully and put an end to the verbal abuse. This couple was probably the most explosive and toxic on the show. Benzino clearly suffered from anger issues and anxiety; he lashed out at the slightest criticism while Althea showed her manipulative, narcissistic claws.
The biggest lesson I learned is that you can’t love someone through their issues. It only hurts you in the end. If someone is hurting, you have to step away and let them heal. Both parties were toxic and petty but at the end of the day, they loved their son and showed enough maturity to stick through the show for his sake.
Dwayne “Money” Bowe and Theresa Bowe
Dwayne Bowe is a retired NFL player who believes that is wife is “perfect.” Perfection for him means that she takes care of their kids, their mansion, and his friends who stay at their house all hours of the day and night. They joined the show because Dwayne believed their marriage was perfect while Theresa was suffering from the weight of it all and she was ready to walk.
Aside from the obvious reasons of serving as a maid and cook for grown men seven days a week, Theresa had another reason as to why she resisted the title of “Superwoman” and insisted on being heard and respected. For years, he had no disregard for her time or her feelings, so the biggest takeaway here is that people will do what you allow. And, a man can truly love you and still be stuck in their ways. They will change if they fear losing you.
Dee Dee “Spinderella” Roper and Quenton “Q” Coleman
Spinderalla, a former DJ of Salt & Peppa, appeared as a guest on the show because she didn’t want her issues with her former group to affect their relationship. Quenton, silent, strong, and patient, wanted her to open up and give up control.
In the beginning, I really didn’t understand why this couple was on the show. After a few episodes, I realized the importance of seeking therapy to help you through an emotional rough patch. Stress and anxiety can kill a relationship even if the couple really wants it. I commend them both for their courage to appear on the show and work through the issue.
Coolio and Mimi
Coolio needs no introduction. He’s been in a relationship with his long-time girlfriend and former stripper, Mimi. While she is moody and demanding of respect, Coolio is what every stereotypical rapper is deemed to be: selfish, self-centered, and a cheater. They joined the show after a few episodes to determine whether or not they could make it work.
As much as someone claims they love you, they may still refuse to change. That stubbornness has nothing to do with the other person, but the partner needs to decide if they’re willing to put up with it.
Sundy Carter and Breyon Williams
A former Love & Basketball star and college football player, this couple wasn’t your typical couple. Breyon was dating Sundy and two other women when they first appeared on the show and they were both afraid to admit to the other that they wanted to be exclusive. Their goal was to tear down the wall and work toward an exclusive relationship.
Breyon showed us that it doesn’t matter how long a man knows a woman or how many other women he dated previously, if there’s a connection, he will remove the other women in his life to be with her. It was difficult for Sundy to let down her walls and be vulnerable; who can blame her? Breyon had been dating two women for years and had only known her for eight months. But, she had to learn to be vulnerable and state her needs to receive it.
Just like any reality TV show, there was drama, fights, and secrets revealed. Yet, it wasn’t trashy at all. There are lessons and opportunities for growth and the possibility of seeing yourself in any one of these situations. If you decide to watch it, I’d love to hear the lessons you got from it.